Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Scary Cavegirls

From an event organising firm comes this team of cavegirls who can be hired to enliven your corporate events. Obviously hailing from a cave somewhere in Essex this foursome is likely to scare any large prehistoric mammal (Essex man, for example) to death!

Cavegirl Rating: 4/10 (and that's only for the one on the right)

Contortionist Cavegirls

I was very taken with this photograph of circus contortionists Daniela Zocchi and Delia del Sol. No doubt many tribes required votive acts for their Stone Age deities and having a couple of very flexible cavegirls in your settlement would enable you to get big kudos with the gods as they perfom their intricate dawn exercises.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Naked Cavegirl

Well, this is really a picture of a girl in front of a cave rather than a cavegirl. Her fur bikini must be lying on a rock to dry somewhere as she is obviously drying herself out having fallen into a pool whilst being chased by a cave bear or some such. We like the lighting coming from the cave and, indeed the light on the anonymous cavegirl hersel.

Cavegirl rating: 6/10

Cavegirl: Heidi Klum

Just come across this rather spiffy picture of German ├╝bermodel Heidi Klum in full One Million Years BC regalia. Actually, we think this is one of the better Raquel rip-offs. Heidi certainly has the legs and the bust although, like most models of today she doesn't have the hip/waist ratio. It is, however my second favourite photograph of her after this one:

Cavegirl rating: A solid 8/10

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cavegirl: Sarah Chalke

Here is Canadian actress Sarah Chalke in a very good cavegirl outfit from the show Scrubs. As I have never seen the show I have no idea why she is dressed as a cavegirl but she looks pretty good in her outfit!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Cavegirl Art 12: Cartoon Cavegirl

This cartoon was by regular Playboy cartoonist Dink (Leo) Siegel (1910-2003) and appeared in the November 1964 issue. Oddly, it's quite hard to find any information about him on the net other than that he was born in Birmingham, Alabama. He worked for many other magazines as well as Playboy (for whom he contributed for over 25 years) including Good Houskeeping, Life, Cosmopolitan and the Saturday Evening Post.

Much prehistoric fiction (such as Jean M Auel's books) feature inter-action between early Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals and no doubt this was the inspiration for this cartoon. Or not. Anyway, the cavegirl dinosaur co-existence pre-dates One Million Years BC by two years.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Plastic Cavegirl: Cro Magnon Woman

Box art

Alternative legs and arms were included

In 1971, American plastic model kit manufacturer, Aurora launched arange of prehistoric kits. Some, like the Woolly Mammoth, were quite good and some were not so good. These were snap- -together models that, in theory, didn't need any glue.

They were largely popular, I suspect, because of the rather striking box art. I'm not sure who did the prehistoric range paintings. Top illustrator James Bama (now a hugely suceesful artist specialising in Western themes) did all their Horror personalities kits so may have done these. The original painting for Cro Magnon Woman sold on eBay about two years ago for $2,000.

Frankly, the kit itself, sculpted by Bill Lemon, is rather disappointing and even though it turns up on eBay reasonably often I am not tempted! It is in 1/13th scale and includes alternative legs and arms. It may have been based on Aurora's controversial The Victim kit from their Monster Scenes range. This so outraged Americans at the time that they picketed the company's New York factory asking for it to be withdrawn. They re-named it instead as Dr Deadly's Daughter.

Although the kit purports to be (pre) historical and the little plastic plaque included reads "Cro-Magnon Woman. 40,000 years ago in France. Late Pleistocene Time" the inclusion of a two headed snake rather militates against this!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Post Apocalyptic Cavegirls: She Wolves of the Westeland.

She Wolves of the Wasteland (1988) (original title Phoenix the Warrior) was a dirt cheap all female version of Mad Max. In the future all men have died out leaving only ravening lesbian women to rule (it sounds like parts of Vancouver). One woman becomes artificially impregnated in order to bear a male child and another warrior is assigned to protect her.

The Turkish Video cover showing the film under its original title

The Only (semi) nude scene in the film, sadly

Generally, this seems to be not that well regarded even by people, like me, who like trashy movies. There doesn't seem to be enough nudity in it (a lost opportunity, surely, with a planet full of lesbian gangs) and the sets are very poor, I gather. Oh well, I might still pick it up on Amazon and see what it is like. It does co-star one Peggy Sands, who is better known as Canadian Playboy Playmate Peggy McIntaggart. Unusually, Peggy became Playmate (January 1990) after the release of the film. Usually a girl is a Playmate first and then makes trashy B movies. If she does wear a fur bikini in the film it could justify a pictorial feature on her.

The film does certainly have a fur bikini poster and at least illustrates the rare example of Post- Apocalyptic cavegirl.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Cavegirl Art 11: Cavegirl on log

This wonderful painting by Frank Frazetta works for all sorts of reasons. In the background the tropical island looms in the mist in a most sinister way; threatening shapes could conceal all sorts of nameless terrors. Although we can't see her face, Frazetta's masterful rendering of her back and shoulder muscles show that she is looking at the island. As her log is being paddled past it rather than towards it this gives a nice sense of trepidation. The log she is astride is covered in nasty-looking, mouldy encrustations, contrasting with the girls smooth, pale skin. In the middle distance some flying creatures flock. Are they just seabirds or something more reptilian? The clunp of rushes on the left balance the solid shape of log and girl and counterbalance the shadowy island. Without them the painting would be over-heavy on the right. The cavegirl herself has a nicely unkempt fur loincloth and an engagingly primitive necklace of teeth.

Or does it work because it is just a painting of a girl with a fantastic arse with a huge gnarled object between her thighs?

Whatever, we give it 9/10

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Cavegirl: Raquel Welch from Men Only

Raquel in Men Only April 1966

It's far too long since I posted anything on here but this will change over the next few months as I have assembled a lot of material to share with the world!

To get us off to a good start I present a few more pictures of Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC. Now, most Raquel pictures on the web are the same but I don't think I have seen these before. They come from the April 1966 issue of Men Only.

Men Only is one of the oldest men's magazines; first published in 1935. In 1966 it carried a mixture of stories, articles, humour and some not very racy pin ups. After a long and venerable history by 1966 it was struggling against pushy, glossy Penthouse (first published in 1965) and within five years would be bought by Paul Raymond as the first rung in his adult magazine empire and re-launched as the main competitor to other UK rival, Mayfair.

A very fine, damp Raquel

There are two nice studies of Raquel and a few interesting behind the scenes shots. The film hadn't come out at the time of the article so very little was made of any dinosaurs as these were no doubt still being brought to life in post-production by Ray Harryhausen.

Raquel looks fantastic; even in a car park!

Some of the cast smoking themselves to extinction

Friday, February 27, 2009

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth DVD

We recently picked up the 2008 release of the Hammer double bill Moon Zero Two (1969) and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970).

Amber Dean Smith

Moon Zero Two, Hammer's highest budget film, was an oddity; an early attempt to make a SF Western (see also Outland, The Adventures of Pluto Nash and Firefly). It is outside the scope of this blog but did feature one of the few film performances of Amber Dean Smith, the first ever Penthouse Pet of the Year (1966).

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, however, is the second greatest Cavegirls in Fur Bikinis film ever! The film starred former Playboy Playmate of the Year (1968), Victoria Vetri, meaning that the double bill features one each of the yearly choices for the two great men's magazines.

We see a lot more of Victoria because the DVD we bought was the one released last year in the US which erroneously included the original, uncut version of WDRTE, but with the wrong rating on the box. As a result the DVD was withdrawn and the prices of those still in circulation has shot up. This is the first time the uncut film has been available, albeit briefly, on DVD. We would imagine it would be a lot cheaper to re-package the DVD than cut it but then there are usually cost issues with submitting films for certification (in order to be able to change the cover) so they may not bother.

There will be several forthcoming entries on WDRTE, therefore. I will look at the movie itself and of course the trio of splendid cavegirls: Victoria Vetri, Magda Konopka and Imogen Hassall.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Cavegirl: Carly Zucker

Footballer's WAG Carly Zucker is the new "face" of Lynx, a particularly cheap and nasty spray on perfume for men, actually invented by the French under the name of "Axe". We won't make any comment about French hygiene as the British newspapers take it up regularly anyway and it all ends up with complaints by the French Ambassador and French Farmers burning our goods as they arrive in France. Let us just say that we can't think of another country that has to sell cologne in litre bottles.

Carly. Fit

Anyway, Ms Zucker (a personal trainer-Hmm, I could do with getting a bit fitter) lives only a couple of miles away from me and is the fiancee of Joe Cole who plays for Chelsea (there are a lot of Chelsea players living around here because they have to live within 5 miles of their training ground which is just down the road).

The campaign is based around Raquel Welch's look in One Million Years BC, of course. This shows an advertising agency with good taste!

I think they have done a good job with Carly even if she can't compete with Raquel's bust. She certainly is one of the better imitators, partly becuase her face is closer to Raquel's/ So we are happy to give a:

Cavegirl Rating: 8/10

Friday, February 06, 2009

New Lynx Cavegirl Advert

My daughter was very excited when this came on the other week. "You need to get it on your blog!" Quite right!